Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
