no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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