you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize