dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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