So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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