We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
