now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
