my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
