You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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