I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize