At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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