Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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