sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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