I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
