Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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