I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
