when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
