i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
