How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
please don't ironically join a cult
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