guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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