We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
