Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
