FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
