On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
