Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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