Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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