I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
