Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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