going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
