Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
