11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think my mom watched the whole time
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
