Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
