Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize