I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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