I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize