where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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