The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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