no. you can't hotbox the world.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
