I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
