we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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