I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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