giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
