At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
