Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
