It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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