so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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