the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
