I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
