Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
