And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
