Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
