My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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