marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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