I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he thought i was a dude.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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