i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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