I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
