She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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