i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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