i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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