My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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