She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
