I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
