Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
