i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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