She said her name was "party"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
