I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
