i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
