So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
