I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
