You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize