You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
