she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize