During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
